Your problem statement is so generic I've seen it copy-pasted in 10 other decks; show me the real pain, not just industrial Wikipedia facts.

20,000 manufacturers? That's just a census number, not a market size. Where’s the actual money your product will capture? This is pure top-down nonsense.

$2,000 per line per month? Great, you picked a number. But there’s no model here – what's your LTV, CAC, or how many lines does a 'mid-market manufacturer' even have?

Relevant experience is nice, but 'founder' and 'ML lead' isn't a team; who's building, who's selling, and who's making coffee when you're burning through that $500K?

A signed LOI is a start, but 'design partners' and 'two active pilots' means you've mostly been building for free; your 'traction' is barely a whisper, and your GTM plan is 'hire two sales reps to figure it out'.

Your deck is 'clear' like a blank wall is clear; it presents facts without any effort to engage or tell a story, making it a glorified bulleted list, not a pitch.